Everything is Broken and Nothing Works: Updates at Times
Within each of us is a world. It is not
the world, but it is our world. Our own alone.
And the world is not complete without an ocean
flowing up and out and over all the
edifices of our life’s history that we have watched
rise out of the choices we didn’t realize we had made.
Content Warning: Domestic Violence. Horror.
Maddie flowed down the hallway towards the bedroom. She had been up for hours enjoying the quiet of her Saturday and the comfort of her baggy pajamas. A room temperature, half-drank mug of coffee journeyed with her. She stopped and leaned on the bedroom door frame.
“Nick? Sweetie? It’s almost eleven. How are you?” She looked up from her coffee. He was lying in the bed, his head propped up on the pillows, no covers, no sheets. His eyes were open staring at her. And his legs, his legs were bent the wrong way with the knees inverted.
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After the BIG ORANGE BOOM at the end of 2020, the United States political system underwent major renovations and organic changes.
If you can remember when any of these changes went into effect, then you’re in Stage 4 of Rapid Aging Syndrome. You crazy Gen Zers!
Okay, enough playing around. Let’s get right into the list! Here are our Top 5 changes that have been made to the US government in the last 23 years.
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Last week in a brief and startling burst of sanity, Knoxville leadership decided to shut down all UT Greek life parties in the city to halt the spread of Covid 19.
“We immediately had second thoughts,” said Glenda Williamson, County Health Tsar. “But by then it was too late. We had already passed the regulation and blackmailed both the sheriff’s department and city police into enforcing it. Those boys sure love their bubbles.”
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There are men in the crawlspace again.
I like to imagine them happy there in the dark
as if they are nesting and staying warm.
And not the hungry hands lurking below
digging through the dirt looking for gold.
The lights are on. The stage is set. The audience is filled with millennials and boomers with not a gen-x in sight. Only two candidates are left. Let’s rumble!
Moderator: Thank you both for attending. Let’s get right into it, shall we? First question. There has been a lot of concern over being able to work with Mitch McConnell. He’s gone on record as saying the Senate will shut down if Florida Man isn’t reelected. How would you deal with him?
The time is 8 o’clock am and Amy Klobucher
is the first one sitting in a booth at the restaurant.
She is waiting for you.
The plan is not to meet until noon
for lunch.
Satirical writers are becoming desperate all across the United States of America. US politics have become immune to parody.
“I don’t understand,” said Gian Phillips, lead political editor of the Dead Turnip. “Elections used to be our goldmine. Jon Stewart made a whole show off of living through the Bush years. John Olivier begged Trump to keep running for the goofs. How could politics run out of funny?”
“Don’t cry, Charlene. I’m going to be okay. I’m going to where Mom and Dad are.”
Charlene did not stop the tears flowing down her cheeks. “You’re going to be dead. Don’t treat me like a child. Why does it have to you?”
“Because our family is blessed. You know this. After our parents went into the hole no one else died from the plague that year and we saw animals return that hadn’t been seen for over a decade.”
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Note: I’ve heard parts of these ideas before from other people on social media.
In my opinion, the original Star Wars movies are better than the prequels, but the prequels still have a lot of good stuff. No hate.
But with some tweaking and rewriting, they could be much better.
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