Mania descended on an Athens, GA, office Wednesday morning after a new brand of coffee was made in the office pot. All work stopped as office employees gathered in small groups of two or three to whisper about the radical change and their discontent.
“No one worked all morning,” said manager Greg Beatress. “It was a catastrophe. I heard a phone ring unanswered for 15 minutes. People couldn’t stop chatting about the coffee change.”
The panic spread quickly as employees realized it wasn’t just their personal taste, but that the coffee was truly different.
“I don’t understand what was wrong with the old one,” said office accountant Sheryl Bittress. “We’ve had the same coffee for ten years.”
Mandatory volunteer kitchen manager, Dave Carey, bought the new coffee after overhearing complaints.
“I was entering the kitchen and heard a person say how they were ‘tired of the sh*t coffee’ we always have. Pardon my French,” Carey said. “So, fine. I took some money out of the kitchen and bought the other cheapest brand of coffee. Not my fault! There was only $10 in the fund.”
The kitchen fund is expected to pay for all kitchen supplies for the year including paper towels, paper plates, plastic ware, styrofoam cups, coffee, and a small cake on birthdays.
Carey also explained that he does not drink the coffee himself.
With the old coffee gone, employees are planning to protest each morning until it comes back.
“I promise to loudly complain about the new coffee every time I get some,” said salesperson Dorothy Mayes. “I didn’t like the old one. But now that it’s gone, I miss it.”
Beatress has asked Carey to return to buying the old coffee brand once the new one runs out in four to five weeks. Otherwise, management will take no farther action and hope that everyone settles down eventually.
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