After the BIG ORANGE BOOM at the end of 2020, the United States political system underwent major renovations and organic changes.

If you can remember when any of these changes went into effect, then you’re in Stage 4 of Rapid Aging Syndrome. You crazy Gen Zers!

Okay, enough playing around. Let’s get right into the list! Here are our Top 5 changes that have been made to the US government in the last 23 years.

1. One Term, One Kill. The President is now allowed to murder one person per term, but they have to do so personally (in the same room). The event must be announced to the public beforehand and be stream-able. It’s already become custom for the President to use a Bowie Knife, but the first kill was accomplished with a pump-action shotgun.

2. Ghost Congress. Want to send a message to your Representative? You might need to put up your phone and get out your Ouija board. Congress is no longer required to vote, visit DC, or even be alive! Talk about keeping the seat in the family. Today, 84 ghosts serve in Congress.

3. Supreme Hunting. Have your nets and sniper rifles ready! Once every four years, all the Supreme Court seats are up for grabs if you can catch a current Justice. The court has been forced to become faster, younger, and heavily fortified.

4. Twitch Writes a Law. As a citizen subscribed to Amazon Prime, you’re able to join Twitch Writes a Law whenever it goes live. Everyone votes on which letter will come next until a full law is written. Spellcheck comes into play when needed.

5. Puppet Presidents. We’ve only had two so far, but after Trump’s third term was fulfilled by his daughter, Ivanka, controlling a full-size puppet of her father, anything is on the table. The theory that the puppet was Trump’s actual corpse continues to persist despite evidence the puppet was made of plastic.

Kermit has been picking up a lot of buzz for this next election. Does everyone’s favorite frog have your vote?

See you next week for another Remember When Top 5!